of sympathy and pain

I lied to my girlfriend when I told her about being sick and all. Without consenting any permission to go out, I did went out. Hanged out with friends. The good thing about her, she never gets mad. How I wish ganyan lahat ng babae. Not the type na nagseselos and everything. No matter how hard I tried to make her jealous wala pa rin. Tsk. I'm still thankful she's always there though ako ang nauunang mangasar sa kanya. I make bawi naman whenever I do cross the line nah.

Fights are normal right? And after the said fight, ang ganda the feeling to just make-up and cuddle about it.

Jealousy, this leads to paranoia, selfishness and never-ending fights. Do you want to know why at some point where everything is just so sweet, your partner would suddenly mention someone of the opposite sex?
He/she's just checking on how you would react, and if you DO care that much to react.
And it's not embarassing for me to admit that I am the type who gets all jealous most of the time, but it does have advantages you know. All those who oppose this statement just place it in the comment box.

All this talk reminds me of my x (12th) who I promised to wait for before. I did everything for her and as the light had shed it's rays on me, it made me realize that she hasn't done a single thing for me. Not one, just to get things back to the way it was. I know I have my own faults with the relationship we had but still, I am entitled to know what's keeping her from doing anything special. My mind is very inquisitive and if doesn't find answers it tends to conclude. I'm clueless.

Whom do I love most?
My x or the present?
Sad to say but I'm still stuck on my past. My present is just someone to fill in this emptiness I've been feeling for the past 7 months after breaking up with my x.
Funny how my x reacts on the testimonials my present has been giving me on my Friendster. Tsk. And I keep on thinking what should I rather do. I haven't totally trusted my present, after my previous commitment, I now have trust issues. I guess things will work out just fine after a very long while.

I've to sort things out. Until then, I am happy and contented with the way things are going.