Emptiness

For the past few days, I've been feeling totally out of it. Disappointed with my mom, as well as with my brother. My mind's too preoccupied with a lot of things mostly about school and shit. Then this happens. Depression has hit me again. I silently kept every blow to myself. I never talked about it, to anyone. I like to be left alone. And even if I do know a lot of people, I just can't seem to open up to them. They wouldn't understand.

Because I know too well what they would say. I'm the listener and the comforter, yet in times of this shitty feeling, slowly eating me up, nobody is there to comfort and listen to me.

The wall I thought was gone was still standing all along. There were just holes, to which why I became acquainted with so many people. This wall has reaped thoughts of withdrawal in crowds, rejection, loneliness. It had made me think that even if there were people out there who could actually listen to me, it doesn't mean they can actually help me. They can't make my brother change, they can't tell my mom that what she's always saying gradually hurts me.

With this pain, I struggle at night. Little by little, the pain seeps through my veins. Killing me ever so softly.

No matter how I look at it, I am a lone wolf. And I'll always be alone.

The wounds on my hand doesn't come close to the pain in my heart. How I wish I could've just torn that wall apart.